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Of all the earthly music, that which reaches farthest into heaven is the beating of a truly loving heart.

Y sheenaaa

26oct1988

nineteen

singapore poly

im not young.not yet old

Y Desires

knitted white jacket

river island wallet

off-shoulder top

black shorts

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Jay Chou - Tui Hou

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sick n tired
Wednesday, July 19, 2006

gosh.. i am sick n tired of certain things tt has been happening in my life..

i duno y but i dun feel like gg to sch anymore..

the stress.. the friends and also my bestest pal in the world... it's all getting to me..
i mean like.. i'm starting to concentrate and study now but i cant handle it ya c..my classmates are into this guy talk lately n i dun get to noe wat they are toking abt.. felt a lil left out c.. n yesh.. last but not least my bestest pal in the world tanhongsiong treats me like i'm a dog.. well.. not tt bad la but he treats me v fiercely and he gives me this attitude.. sumtimes i even wonder to myself is he better off wif other ppl than wif me.. when i meet him to go to sch together.. he gives me tt stupid look and whenever he toks to me .. he gives me this v rude tone.. i feel like jus leaving the mrt station..when we reach sch and sees my frens or his frens.. he's laughing n smiling to them .. wat abt me? it seems like i'm no longer of any importance to him .. this morn as usual.. he sorta like shouted to me.. i feel like slapping sumthing at tt time.. imagine sum1 so impt n close to u shouting at u bcos of 1 small event.. it's bad la..i'm v upset wif him tt i guess for the moment.. i will not tok to him much.. toking to him will make me feel worse i guess.. it's bad.. as an emotional person.. i cant handle my emotions v well so i guess for me.. this is the best way..

i really cannot continue like this.. i feel like crying whenever i'm alone.. be it in sch..at home or even in the middle of the road.. my classmates sorta leave me out.. the work in school.. and my best pal in the world..

sumtimes i wonder to myself..luckily i haf close frens like hsia n hs to b wif me in times of trouble or grief.. but i guess even the bestest fren ever cant even be there for u during certain times.. they try but sumtimes they cant... sumtimes even ur best frens can play u out.. i dunno..prob it's bcos i'm super upset tt's y i say certain things but.. i dun wish to haf any frens n all tt.. i wanna b a loner.. so i wun get hurt by any1.. i duno.. i even felt like not meeting hs tmr for sch.. i will feel SUPER EMO if i do and if he continues to gimme tt rude attitude.. i feel so insecure n stranger to him.. it's as if we were nv frens.. barely aqquaintances..

guess i haf to go now.. feeling damn emo again.. will wanna cry soon.. so i'll end here..

lost