*`/so thankful I found you.

i duno what he wans

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

it's 5am already.. cant slp.. jus came back from supper wif hsia.bishi n sujin..

i dunno wat he wans from me man.. damn it.. i mean him.. hs..
when im quiet n depressed abt the whole thing he claims i ignore him which i didnt bcos i did try toking to him..
when im all noisy n crazy like how i was in mac jus now wif ch.. i tried toking n smiling to him all the time.. but it's either he smiles or he doesnt look back at you.. wth ?
prob he's really forgotten all abt me n my crap..

damn.. well.. tt's fast if u wanna say so..

im upset .. god damn it upset..

i haf this "wo de tao qi wang zi" preview vcd from yang cheng ling's album tt i bought a few months ago.. and i was bored a few days ago so i played it n i saw all those loving scenes n i thot abt him n i.. really.. felt like crying n oso felt how fortunate n happy i used to be..

prob it's bcos i like him tt's y the little things he does will make me angry..and vice versa..
prob he doesnt think much abt me tt's y he doesnt get angry wif me easily n he doesnt care abt wat i haf to say abt him either..

if only this whole misunderstanding could b solved.. i thot of ways to solve it.. i tried calling him n tok it out.. but he wouldnt.. i mean like.. heard from hsia tt when she bring up abt me or the matter.. he jus say he doesnt wanna tok abt it.. not toking abt it will save the matter ma? or not toking abt it we can still b frens ma?

he kept saying tt we can be frens .. of cos we are gd frens.. n all this crap.. but nothing's coming thru.. it's all jus words.. all speech n no action.. how do u expect anything to come out from this?

i dunno.. but i feel damn upset myself..
but he isnt..

jus now in mac.. he kept yawning n he kept showing the face tt he wans to leave.. n he toked lively to bishi n hsia.. he doesnt even wan to tok to me.. damn.. even bishi asked.. how come we're not toking.. i mean like.. hello.. i am.. then she said like.. y he look so sian n bored like wanna leave lydat.. it's like so obvious lo.. wave at him he don wanna look at me.. when he leaves.. he doesnt even wanna turn n say bye.. he said bye cos he heard bishi said bye.. damn..

damn upset..if this goes on.. we can nv b frens..

jus now in hsia's hse.. hs auto tok to hsia.. normally.. he doesnt auto tok to me..n the way he msn hsia n the way he used to msn me is so damn diff.. my msn conversation wif him always dry.. to b honest la.. but his way of toking to hsia is wif patience n more elaborated..

now i feel like a failure.. watever..

hsia told me tt life has to go on..u haf to accept the fact.. i mean i haf accepted it already but it's jus tt i canot believe tt the aftermath would b like this..this is not wat i expected n not wat i wished for..

i guess he doesnt even noe i think abt him 24-7.. woah.. tt sure is dumb..

well.. guess i'll haf to occupy myself more.. i did wif PEEE.. but maths.. eee.. i dread it.. let's make this work shall we?

okay then..it's already morning.. i better go.. update ya next time..

-wingless-