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Of all the earthly music, that which reaches farthest into heaven is the beating of a truly loving heart.

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26oct1988

nineteen

singapore poly

im not young.not yet old

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my day wif gawain
Saturday, August 19, 2006

well.. today after gawain's exam.. we met up n went to west mall for a movie..

well.. gawain asked me a v funny qn yest.. he asked me whether i had sum1 in mind.. well.. i said no.. but stupid sujin told me tt i shld tell gawain the truth.. he n xiang kept on pestering me to tell the truth or not say anything at all. damn. so i said.. i used to like hs.. n he was shocked n said stuff like.. he feels like he's killing himsels n helping his "rival" n all tt..

hmmm.. anyways.. we went to watch an american haunting which is not v scary n gawain got shocked a few times.. it's so awkward to sit in a cinema w/o him.. i mean like so far.. i've always got him beside me when im watching a movie.. but gawain's cool.. we tried to make this outing a more lively one..

after tt we went "shopping" which we didnt buy anything.. n we ended up in pizza hut.. eating.. we ordered like this big cheesy bite pizza n this hut's platter wif soup n drinks.. damn.. we couldnt finish.. we're so bloated.. then we went home..*sounds kinda dry*..well.. he's gonna like play golf sumday during the holidays n he asked if i would like to come along.. well.. i guess sure.. why not.. but i really dun like to haf this uneasy feeling cos i feel tt the things he qns n all tt gimme this obvious feeling tt he's interested in me.. damn


ooohh well.. life sure seems quiet w/o guy bestie anymore..

haha.. v v quiet.. althou i still haf hsia wif me.. but .. it's quiet.. awfully quiet.. certain things really do get to sum ppl.. well.. didnt noe sumthin actually tt small can turn out big.. but watever is said now.. is of no use.. cos it's over n tt's the facts.. we gotta face it.. it sure is a big waste.. but since hsia told me tt hs is no longer interested in toking abt me n the past.. then we'll jus haf to live with it..

you cant really said i've moved out.. cos i havent really gotten over this .. i mean like.. it's my first time to b really tt close with a guy.. n it's oso my first time facing this rubbish argument tt broke our relationship.. i guess ya..a big warm feeling at first but a real shocking ending tt even i myself nv expected.. golly.. haha. who would haf known this would happen..

still thinking of this everynite.. i mean like.. no more sweet nothings n gdnite hugs.. it's kinda sad.. i mean.. if there's no such things.. i can try to live wif it .. btw i've tried living wif it for like the first 17 yrs of my life.. this is no biggie..but losing a person tt used to b of so much importance to me.. damn..

sure do regret "ill-treating" him.. but i still cant accept him saying tt other than the ppl he hates.. im the first person to make him so angry n pissed.. n he disliked me.. i thot to myself.. if he dislikes me tt much.. y treat me so gd? cos i told him how impt he was to me? haha.. tt's bullcrap to be honest.. but still disappointed.. haha.. great.. well.. it's almost 2am.. i don feel like sleeping so i guess ill go down n meet hsia.. =)


-sweet dreams-