JoanJoan
Jennyfurr
Sunday, April 08, 2007
hi there.
actually. jennyfurr , my frens n I are gg pubbing today. sad tt now there's no activities lined up for tonight but it's alright. i mean like i can slack at home oso. xuanyi ask me out but... i might not want to go lah. i dunno her tt well n it's raining by the time i go home n put my laptop n come back dunno wat time already lohh.. sian
anyways. i finally woke up. FROM A V V V LONG COMA!! i finally realised tt the hs i was still clinging onto was actually not the hs i like. as ive mentioned. he's changed n he even told me tt everbody disliked me. i went to everybody one by one n asked em whether wat they think of me. but none said they disliked me. n i can c it. they were truthful. althou i may be bad at sum pts but tt doesnt make me all bad. like. i may haf fallen aslp n forgot to contact yujun for the chalet (I WAS REALLY TIRED. SLEPT ONLY 2 HOURS FOR TWO DAYS!!) . so i sumhowupset certain ppl. but they tell me tt they understand n tt doesnt mean im a bad person n tt they don disliked me. BUT I JUS NOE TT HS DISLIKES ME. i asked him why but he asked me not to ask y. jus reflect on myself. -.-'' i tried toking to YS properly n tt nite he turned all jelly n started telling me im cute n nice n pretty n kept asking me qns and OMG!! IM TOTALLY DISGUSTED. HSIA told me " i think all girls would b scared of YS" YA C HS?! IT'S NOT TT I DUN WANNA TREAT YS GD K? ILL TRY TO IGNORE HIM. DAMN
haiz. i snapped back into reality n i found out tt the hs i like is not the hs now. so no pt clinging onto him. the reason y i kept clinging onto him was cos of those memories n the old him. but now tt he's not the same person i used to like anymore. no pt ba. so i seriously announce tt IM OVER HIM! YES!! OVER N DONE WITH!! i deserve much better!! but .. i dun think i'll ever find a guy as gd as him. so nah. think i'll jus stick to the plan of not marrying. heh heh
sch's reopening n i wan to get new clothes n bags n shoes for sch!!!! IM IN ETTIQUETTE N PROFESSIONAL IMAGING. i have to dress up my best if im taking tt module. heh heh. omg. the first module for the first day of sch. scary.!! im not used to being alone. think every1 noes tt. n im taking jap ALONE. omg. i dun think i can handle it.
im so scared ill bump into jason or hs in sch eh. i mean like damn pai seh man. haiyah. boys = trouble. for me at least. i cannot imagine when sch reopens wat other "trouble"s are coming my way.
oh ya. lost my phone a few days ago. i left it by my laptop at the cashier. n i was entertaining sum customers and the next moment. IT WAS GONE! *sad* chinling lent me his hp so i used it for like 3 days n i got myself a new HP!! k800i! it's bulky n rather ugly thou. hmmm. nvm la. will do.=D i will jus haf to make do for another 2 yrs then. when i lost my hp i was v v sad. cos the msg-es tt hs used to send me were all gone. i have a soft copy in my com but it's not the same anymore. those sweet msges . i cant find them anymore. sad? YES. VERY
anyways. will post my MOS pics in the next entry. stay tune =D
ohh ya.. i have to make smth clear. I MISTREAT HS COS HE DIDNT SHOW ME THE LOVE N CONCERN TT HE USUALLY SHOWED ME IN FRONT OF HIS FRENS OR WHEN WE'RE IN SCH. HE ACTS AS IF IM A V NORMAL FREN. THEN WHEN THE TWO OF US ARE TOGETHER OR WITH OUR GANG . HE JUS SHOWERS ME WITH LOVE N CARE. IT'S UNFAIR TO ME. N TT'S Y I ALWAYS GET SO MOODY N THROW MY TANTRUMS N TT'S Y I END UP MISTREATING HIM. BUT DOES HE NOE TT HE DIDNT MAKE IT CLEAR TO PPL TT HE HAS GOT ME N IT'S JUS UNFAIR TO ME. I HAVE TO FACE EVERYDAY WITH DOUBTS . BUT I KEPT THINKING AS LONG AS HE'S THERE N NV LEAVING I WONT MIND HIM NOT TELLING EVERYBODY. WELL. KNEW EVERYTHING TT HAS A BEGINNING HAS AN END. I SHOULD HAVE BEEN READY FOR THIS A LONG TIME AGO. WELL. I STILL HAVE 3/4 OF MY LIFE TO LIVE. LIVE IT RIGHT I'LL SAY. =D
i still miss u.
-saw an angelic formation on 8/4/07 4.45pm-